I am sorry
I am sorry for being miserable
I am sorry for being dramatic
I am sorry for fearing rejection
I have been rejected so many times in my life
Given this feeling
This sense of worthlessness
I was never taught that I was good enough
I was taught that I have to be good enough
For others
The way people look at you
Is the determinant on how worthy you are
So don’t you dare cry
Don’t you dare show them weakness
I have lived most of my life
Being afraid to cry
Being afraid to open my mouth
Because if i say the wrong thing
My words will get spat back at me
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Pain
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Peace
|
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Sensitivity
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Empathy
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I know adversity is good for me
I know it should motivate me
But lately I feel tired
I feel like I am draining myself
I know the world isn’t against me
It is my own self that is against me
The world has so much to offer
But I don’t go near it
In fear of rejection
In fear that once again,
I am abandoned.
But I let the world in.
I gave the world my heart.
And now I can’t stop crying.
Because I feel everything
Every emotion is overwhelming
Overpowering
Leaving this after taste in my mouth
Like coffee
I feel the after effects of the caffeine
My body starts feeling jittery
Anxious
Then
CRASH
Breathe breathe breathe
You hold life
You hold soul
I should not be sorry for who I am
I should be sorry for the people who
Claim to understand
Who I am
So no
I am not sorry
